When You Love Someone

Have you ever loved someone
Loved them so much
You would never hold them
But let them be free
Never hold them, never own them
Unless they wanted to be?

Even though without them
You might perish
You might not live again
That you secretly feel
You are nothing without them
Still you silently know
You would let them go
While dying inside
While waving good bye

Loving that much
Is a love deep and true
Best for them is more
Than what’s best for you
What the happy news is
When that freedom is given
It acts as a magnet
Though secret and hidden

For although it could kill you
That freedom you give
Is the power that sustains love
As long as you live.

Steve Hulse

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If You Love Somebody
Written and sung by Sting
Repetitive parts of the lyrics edited lightly by me

Free-free, set them free

If you need somebody, call my name
If you want someone, you can do the same
If you wanna keep something precious
Gotta lock it up and throw away the key
You want to hold on to your possession
Don’t even think about me
If you love somebody
If you love someone, set them free
Free-free, set them free (set them free)

If it’s a mirror you want, just look into my eyes
Or a whipping boy, someone to despise
Or a prisoner in the dark, tied up in chains you just can’t see
Or a beast in a gilded cage
That’s all some people ever wanna be

If you love somebody (love somebody)
If you love someone, set them free
Free-free, set them free (set them free))
Free-free, set them free

You can’t control an independent heart (can’t hold what you can’t keep)
Can’t tear the one you love apart (can’t love what you can’t keep)
Forever conditioned to believe that we can’t live
We can’t live here and be happy with less
So many riches, so many souls
Everything we see there, we want to possess

If you need somebody, call my name
If you want someone
You can do, you can do, you can do the same
If you wanna keep something precious
You gotta lock it up and throw away the key
You wanna hold onto your possession
Don’t even think about me

If you love somebody (love somebody)
If you love someone, set them free
Free-free, set them free



Yeah, it’s hard. Even harder when you’re an American. We are the ownership kings, the possession masters, the consuming and hoarding giants of our age.
And love is so important in our lives, so hard to find, so easy to screw up… when we finally have it, feel it, and are living in it, then are asked to set it free… can we?

I had a composer friend back in Atlanta, who one day in the lunchroom of the recording studio, announced that he was the father of a new baby daughter. After congratulations all around, he spoke quietly, and we all listened.

“I’ll tell you right now, I have no idea in the world where this is all going, but I know it’s going to be incredible. And I know she’ll change my life forever. Hell, she already has. She’s less than two days old, and already she has taught me what unconditional love is – how it feels, who I’m becoming because of it, even discovering new parts of me I didn’t know existed. All because of her. All because of that unconditional love I have for her. And I don’t understand any of it.”

I’ve never heard it said better. I know it’s powerful, that unconditional love thing. That’s why I wrote a poem about it, that’s why I love the Sting version of “If You Love somebody” so much, and shared it with you. Here’s what Sting said about it –

“I needed to write an antidote to ‘Every Breath You Take’. I don’t think the idea of loving somebody and setting them free is particularly original, yet it’s about love relationships in a larger arena than the property market of owning something, surrounding it with protection so you can control it, which is basically what most relationships are about. I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to actually believe it, loving someone and setting them free. But singing it helps in a way, if you say something long enough…”

Honest and heart-felt. “Brave enough” is the right phrase too, I think. Even when you know that letting your loved one be free is probably the best recipe for staying together, still it will grit your teeth and take your breath if that freedom for them is ever challenged. This I know. And in that moment, how you respond will tell you exactly how much you love them. It will tell them, too.

Steve Hulse