Every so often I hear this conversation in my head. Perhaps if I share it with you it will go away. Perhaps.
I’m in a bar, any bar, chatting about basically nothing with the guy next to me. It could be with a woman, of course, but that complicates this exercise in a way I can’t deal with here. For one thing, if I had this conversation with her, she would logicalize me right off my bar stool, and this conversation would never happen. And I need it to happen. At least once.
It probably starts out by my saying something like, “So I guess you’re dealing with the reality of the situation, right?”
The guy – “Well sure. Wouldn’t you?”
Me – “Not all the time. (Chuckle.) I’ve always thought that reality was a little over-rated. “
The guy – “Weird. If you don’t operate in the reality of life, then what the hell do you do? What else is there?”
Me – “Oh god… other ideas, other dreams, other realities, other dimensions. Some people think there’s a parallel reality. See, reality’s no fun sometimes, and there are other alternatives to replacing it, maybe dodging it, maybe just ignoring it, I don’t know.”
The guy, shaking his head, “Well, nothing is real except reality. You can’t deny that, can you?” Then, “Bartender, another round here, please.”
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A note here – definitions of reality. “Reality is the state of things as they are, rather than how they are imagined to be.”
“In philosophy, reality is often defined as a substance that exists in an external world. It’s independent of our minds, meaning it doesn’t need to be proven to exist or depend on our perception of it to continue to exist.”
“However, it’s difficult to define and understand reality. We experience it all the time, but we don’t know where it came from, how big it is, or why it exists. Some say that reality is entirely dependent on subjective experience, while others say it’s entirely independent of it.”
Me – “Hm. Your thought of “what is real” has been debated for centuries. I don’t know much about it all, but I do know that we each have, at least, a slightly different perception of what is real.”
The guy – “Nah. I can’t buy that. It’s either real or it isn’t. There aren’t any 50 shades of gray to reality. I think you’re trying to make something complicated about something that isn’t.”
Me – “Interesting point. But I think I’m probably trying to make something simple about something that’s complicated. Take this beer, for instance…”
The guy – “Thanks. I will.”
Me, trying to ignore that – “Instead, consider the size of this bar. Is it a big bar, a little bar, what?”
The guy, looking around – “I guess I’d have to say a medium bar. Yeah, just medium.”
Me, shaking my head – “And I think it’s a fairly small bar. There’s the difference in our perception of a thing. And we probably differ in a lot of other areas. What baseball team do you think is the best?”
The guy – “Oh easy, the Yankees!”
Me – “I think it’s the Dodgers.”
The guy – “No! Really? No way, no fucking way…”
Me – “But there you have it… different perceptions, different tastes. Which one is real?”
The guy – “Well, they’re both real…”
Me – “To us! They’re real to us. But that guy down at the end probably has a different answer. Don’t you see, it’s our perception of reality, and we all have a different one.”
The guy – “Eh, maybe, but it’s still the same reality. No real dreamy shit going on, just different perceptions of what is really real. I get that part. But say I get hit by a city bus – the bus driver, the guy, people on the street, the ambulance driver, the doctors… c’mon! All those people know what really happened! None of them are dealing with any kind of “alternate reality.”
Me, thinking about that and taking a sip – “Actually, yes they are. At least to a degree. The bus driver thinks your shirt was brown, a bystander thought it was blue, somebody thinks it was the driver’s fault, another says it was your fault. It’s still everybody’s perception of reality.”
The guy – “Ah hell, that’s just their memory of what happened. You know how flawed our memories can be.”
Me – “Right. And so now you have a second stage of reality, which can change what really happened again! Then, if that memory is told by someone of a dramatic or romantic persuasion, the reality can change yet again! Then your reality is simply three stages of that person’s perception!”
The guy, smiling – “Ya know, I’m beginning to think that you philosopher-types are just operating on a different level of conspiracy theories. A lot of hot air and “what if’s.” Trying to sell us on what’s real and what isn’t. Come on…”
Me – “Nope. Just trying to get at the real truth of things.”
The guy – “Okay Let’s just say that you might be right. Does anyone out there know what the truth really is?”
Me – Sure, lot’s of people! And they try to tell us, all the time. But we don’t believe them and we don’t listen.”
A long silence. Then, “Hit us one more time, bartender.”
Finally the guy said, “Okay. I get your point. But I still don’t buy the multiple realities part of it. Look, we’re born into this world needing food, shelter… all tangible things. Even love, the kind where we’re coddled and held and kissed. It’s all tangible. It is all that is real to us. Then, as we grow, we believe in our version of reality because it works for us! We can trust it, depend upon it. And if most of us had that same experience, doesn’t that justify our common concept of reality, what it is, for all of us?”
Me – I wanted to say, “You don’t give up, do you?” But there was a point in what he said that I couldn’t ignore. “That’s a good point, And I agree with you, it does justify our common concept of reality, but does it have to preclude the possibility of other potential realities?”
The guy – “Preclude? C’mon, man…”
Me – “No, what I mean is, if you’re right, then why can’t we still entertain the idea that other realities might exist? Why does it have to be just one way or not at all?”
The guy, chuckling, and taking a sip – “But that’s the reality of reality. It does have to be just one way, it is just one way. Why sit around dreaming about the possibility of other realities when we have the real deal, the one, the only one that works?”
Me – “But you’re making it a black and white thing, and I think there’s very little in this world that is black and white, with no in-between.”
The guy grinned at me. – “Let me ask you a question… who do you think is winning this conversation right now, you or me?”
Me – “Does it have to be a competition? Why not simply a conversation?”
The guy – “just answer the question.”
Me, grinning back – “Well, I do!” Then, “So who do you think is winning?”
The guy, still grinning, – “I am!”
Me, nodding, – “Ah, what the hell. I’ll drink to that!”
Clink.
Steve Hulse
